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I may not be a rocket scientist, but I am your father

by Reed Markham

06/16/2010 —
Do you remember the advice your father gave to you as a child? Here are a few examples from Bruce Lansky, author of FATHERLY WIT AND WISDOM:

*So you think you’re smart, do you?

*I may not be a rocket scientist, but I am your father.

*Algebra doesn’t have to make sense.

*I co couldn’t afford college so I went to the School of Hard Knocks. And I got my degree in Bumps and Bruises.

*Finish school or you’ll wind up digging ditches like your brother.

Fathers can play a major role in their child’s life by:

First, recognizing the value of a father’s involvement in education. Spending time with your children can increase your child’s FCAT scores. The National Center for Education Statistics in Washington, DC reported the following about fathers and education:

*involved fathers are more likely to have visited a library, museum, or historical site with their children. Take some time to visit a local Volusia County library or one our local museums. The Florida Museum of Art in DeLand has an excellent collection of paintings and
photographs.

*involved fathers are more likely to have high educational expectations for their children

*children of involved fathers are more likely to get A’s on their report cards

According to John Rosemond, author of WHY FATHERS COUNT, “When fathers function as active parents their children tend to be more self-confident. They are more adaptable, outgoing, and independent. They possess better social skills, exhibit fewer
behavior problems, and do better in school. As teens, these kids are less likely to have problems with sex, drugs, or alcohol than children whose dads sit on the sidelines.”

Second, actively listen to your child. Take the time to listen to your child before beginning another lecture. Active listening involves asking clarifying questions and getting as many facts as possible. Active listening also involves giving your full attention to the conversation- turn off the television, answer your cell phone calls later. Fathers can show their interest and love through daily active listening.

Third, seize the moment to be involved with your children. Successful fathers takethe time for family dinners, weekly family meetings and take children with them on errands and to do work projects around the home.

Vivian Gadsden, author of “Father’s Role in Children’s Academic Achievement and Early Literacy” recommended the following: “Fathers can ensure that their children are exposed to the best environmental stimuli by participating at home and in early childhood education settings, which are often children's first significant experience outside of the family. In this way, fathers can be supported as they foster optimal early childhood experiences through which their children can develop cognitive abilities. For
example, they can tell stories, read and select books with their children, and learn how to use appropriate visual and cognitive cues. Early childhood educators can introduce fathers to approaches that provide opportunities for children to scribble and write, learn
new vocabulary, identify letters and important words such as their names, and utilize relevant print within and outside the household (e.g., the brand names on milk cartons and street signs). They can also encourage fathers to talk with their children, a critical but
often under-rated parent-child activity.”

Richard L. Evans, author of AT THIS SAME HOUR observed: “There are times, with our children around us, when we would like to keep them as they are-safe from life. But children grow up, days pass, and the good year and the bad move on at the same measured pace. And then there come those times when our hearts cry out for a turning back of the hours of the years. But time does not turn back.” Today’s fathers need to spend more time with their children before its too late.

Reed Markham
Daytona State College


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